Random Thoughts 4 Kawaii Suffrage

Hi all, Benito von Hitlerini di Chairman Mao Donaldski Trumplerdorf senpai desu here. I’m the most kawaii desu of all world leaders and have over 45 territories under my name, acquired through legal and non-violent means because everyone is best friends with me and wants to be my waifu. Just wanted to address a lot of these statuses telling people going out to vote today. I know that there’s been a lot of good press about this whole “voting” thing, saying that it’s a right and a privilege to have a hand in the direction of your respective country. I want to come out and say that this is categorically false. In a real life scientific study conducted by real scientists gathered from all 45 of my glorious territories at the Legitimate Results Where Nothing is Falsified by Fake Scientists Lab, there has been no correlation between voting and healthy government. These real scientists measured the amount of happiness of social media users at periodic intervals over the year before their country’s election, and found that happiness actually diminished as time went on. We correlated this decline with the viewership of inane and idiotic political social media posts that flooded the social media website every election season, as well as a looming sense of unbearable responsibility. There was even a strong correlation between voting and voter disappearance and even untimely death. Of course, I’ve personally taken measures to prevent needless death and suffering, so five years ago, I phased out all election processes in my territories. Voter disappearance and death have decreased by 231.47% as a result. The bottom line is that voting would be a terrible mistake. It is not only dangerous, but is a wanton spectacle of evil values parading as a natural right to be born in your respective country. Please do not go out to vote, I don’t want you to die. I’m Benito von Hitlerini di Chairman Mao Donaldski Trumplerdorf senpai desu, and you must believe me. I love you.